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Monday, September 28, 2009

the pros of pain

When I started this blog, I knew I'd be writing about the highs and lows, but I never realized how each leg of this journey would take me past all of the significant running milestones.

I've written about the great long runs, the not-so-great ones, the thrill of completing my first marathon, and the guilt of sitting on the couch when I could be running a race. I guess it was inevitable, but now it's time to write about the dark side of running...getting injured. And of course, it wouldn't be Unlikeliest Marathoner if I couldn't find a lesson or two nestled within the nebula.

So far, two Saturdays have passed since my longest run yet, 17 miles, and both I've tried to go out and run a modest amount. And both times I've had to stop at 4 miles because my knee has felt like it would collapse beneath me. I've tried to hobble run, run on the balls of my toes, and even a combo walk/run, and each time, my knee would just send shooting darts of pain up my thigh, laughing at me, like, you know this won't work. I've been going to physical therapy and doing my exercises and ice, and though my right leg feels much stronger, and I'm now able to walk pretty well, my body has gone on strike.

It's been frustrating to say the least, and as each day passes, and my leg still continues to give out on me, a dark thought keeps creeping in...what if I can't do my long runs, or worse, what if I'm going to feel this way the day of the race.

I hate to even think about it, and what it would mean. I'd have to tell everyone who's so generously donated to me that I had to back out. And not to mention that dream of crossing the finish line in Central Park that I've been holding onto with each run would disappear. Okay, maybe I'm being a little melodramatic, but for someone who until only recently was not so great at completing things, it feels like I'm back at square one.

But, still, in all of this, there have been a few silver linings. For one, I've encountered a whole new community: physical therapy. It's so weird as a person who's so in her head all the time to meet people so heavily focused on what their bodies can do that they'd be willing to devote three hours a week, and $40 copays, so they could compete. And the weirdest part? I am now one of those people. I've woken up for 7:30 AM sessions with my physical trainer, and actually enjoyed spending the better part of an hour trying to strengthen this funny part of my musculature. It's actually pretty calming, in a different way than running. Like, it's okay to be so body-obsessed and have someone else really care about my leg and my goal other than me.

Another lesson? In order to get through this, I have to be on my body's side. I can't run through the pain, and I can't curse my knee for giving out on me. I got my knee into this, and now I'm going to have to get it out. The more I get frustrated, the more my body seems to hold out on me, like it's taunting me...you think you're going to run long, heh, I can wait just as long as you can. So I have to seduce it back onto my side with plenty of special treatment: massages, ice baths, rest. I guess I owe it as much for getting me through the first marathon pain-free.

And the funniest part? I'm willing to do anything if it works. Today I even went to a sports acupuncturist on W. 20th street and had about 20 needles stuck into various parts of my leg today to try to release the muscle's trigger points. And you know what? It feels a whole lot better (even better than after the PT massages.)

So hopefully, I'll come out of all this soon--my next practice is tomorrow. The pain, just another reminder that taking it slow and steady always pays off.

Monday, September 21, 2009

diary of an injury

This post will go in reverse chronological order...you'll see where it's all going soon enough:

8:32 PM, Saturday, Sept. 21: Finished running 1.7 miles (my favorite, the reservoir, where it all began.) This time though, instead of the mild September air cooling me off as I ran charging to beat twilight, it was broken up into three segments: the amounts I could run without pain, coupled with walking.

3:30 PM, Sunday, Sept. 20: Ran 2 1/2 miles, from 83rd to Cat Hill, instead of running the Queens Half Marathon as I was supposed to, due to my knee locking and seizing. Silent prayers to the running gods spoken the whole time.

1:00 PM, Friday, Sept. 19: Walking to work, feeling my the sides of my knee inflame in pain, but at least it only started at 60th street this time vs. 72nd street.

7:20 PM, Thursday Sept. 18: Trying to run the reservoir, since my knee doesn't feel like it's going to break into pieces every time I step on my right leg. Nope, can only make it a quarter mile before the pain comes back.

1:00 PM, Wednesday Sept. 17: Brad, my new psychical therapist at New York Sports Medicine, tells me I've definitely got an ITL band injury after a quick inspection to my muscles, knees, and new lopsided gait. I should not run the Queens Marathon or any long run until things start to improve.

1:00 PM, Sunday, Sept. 14: I cannot move my right leg without it feeling like it's going to collapse underneath me like a dried out, dead tree limb.

1:01 PM, Saturday, Sept. 13: Hmmm, what's that feeling? My knee's locking up a bit--must remember to stretch a little more after 17-mile runs more often--but wasn't that awesome? I feel sleepy.

12:59 PM, Saturday, Sept. 13: I did it! I just ran 17 miles! And just like last time, the trek over the GW Bridge into NJ was a magic run, the kind that remind you why you are a runner. The miles floated by as I found myself deep in thought, or well, not really thinking about anything, which is the whole reason I started running to begin with.

7:37 AM, Saturday, Sept. 13: Okay, a little nervous. Haven't run in, well, about 10 days, after a seven-day trip to Panama. Maybe I should have just toughed it out down there and got in a few short runs to keep my muscles firing. Well, we'll just see how this goes. I should try to do about 15 miles today, not push myself.

12:30 PM, Monday, August 30: Just ran 14 miles and they actually felt good! Training is paying off, finally! I ran all the way from my apartment down the west side highway up the east river to Central Park. I need to update everyone on unlikeliest marathoner because my last post about my running malaise was pretty grim.

And there you have it, folks. In the past three weeks, my running track record speaks for itself. I've overdone the long runs, skimped on the short ones, and have gained one ITL band injury. It's feeling a little better thanks to PT every other day, and I'm hoping it will continue to improve with daily muscle strengthening exercises. But right now, my first 18-miler looms ahead this weekend, and if my throbbing knee has anything to say about it, I might be forced to make some difficult choices.

Stay tuned for freakout post coming soon.

Wish me luck.
 
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