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Saturday, January 10, 2009

a new obsession: the post-race high

Some runners could tell you every race time they've ever clocked, other's, what gear or goo you need for optimum results, for me, it's been reading Runner's World, magazine editor that I am. But after this morning's race, I think I've found a new obsession: the post-race high.

I'm sure this observation might go in the category of "most obvious ones ever," but to me, running hasn't ever been about the race. Every time I run, it's more like a chance to see if I can prove that little voice in my head wrong, the one that says, even though you ran TK miles or TK pace last time, you'll never be able to do anything more than that. It's also about being in my own head for long periods of quiet time, observing whatever comes up, relishing the good stuff, not running away from the bad. Maybe it's because I'm secretly afraid of failure, but I've turned my nose up at time obessions and ultra-competativeness as something that's a little too type-A--something real runners do, not toe-dippers like me.

So this morning, running with my friend's Jen and Holly, I was suprised to find myself checking the time boards to see what pace I was running (58:55 for five miles); finishing the race at full steam, and for the first time, viewing my participation as something more than the soletary endeavor that's just about me and my goal, but as more; being part of a likeminded community, who had all come together for something bigger than themselves. And almost like a junkie, the post-race high felt stronger to me this time. I know I'll be needing another fix soon.

So yes, I'll let myself say it: I'm becomming a "runner," I think.

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